I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
