Will you blow on my dice?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
