hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
