1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
