Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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