i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
