we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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