any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
