Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
