I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
