The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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