do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
