I heard we made out
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
