You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
