You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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