Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize