Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i love accidental penises.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize