Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
