and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
