Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
