i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
