Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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