maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
