Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
