Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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