I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
