Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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