I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
