So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
