Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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