We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
