oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
