the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
