Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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