I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
