So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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