someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
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