Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
