I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
