? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
whose ass print is on the piano?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
