How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
