Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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