Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
