maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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