I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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