M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
