So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
