don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
high people should be assigned attendants
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
third nipple confirmed
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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