he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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