Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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