Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
