It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
NoShamevember. You game?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
