I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
