Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I just found a bag of teeth...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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