how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
