dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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