the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
