drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize