every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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