dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
